When I first started MADD, I was sitting in my office one day when a gray-haired gentleman, Kenneth Nelson, walked in and asked to see me. He handed me a check for $1,000 and asked if I needed any help. I thanked him profusely for his donation (our biggest at that time) and said yes, we needed speakers. His young cousin who was a middle school teacher, had been killed by a multiple repeat offender drunk driver and Ken was motivated to join our efforts. He was not thrilled with the request because he had other volunteer roles in mind but he agreed with several caveats. He would only do it for two years and would only speak to 100 organizations. I asked him to draft a speech for review and he left.

He passed his review and became one of our most effective speakers who spoke to, local organizations and to high school students.

Twenty-eight years later this amazing man, volunteer and speaker authored a book after receiving thousands of letters from students who heard him speak. His name is Dr. Ken Nelson and the book is called Dear Mr. Nelson. Ken has since passed but I am sure he would not mind me sharing some of the letters he received. They are timeless and reflect the ongoing crisis, anger, and frustration of many of our young people today. Through these letters we can realize that his problem is far more serious than we understand. This is the first one I would like to share.

Dear Mr. Nelson,

I know drinking and driving is very bad for you. I am 18 years old. I’ve been drinking and driving for a long time. I have no way, I think, that I will ever stop before I kill myself or someone else. If there were something I could do, I would but I think I would not do something when it comes up again.

I don’t like going out and drinking every weekend, but it is what everyone is doing, and I know that it is wrong, but there is no way I can stop it.
I’m known as the partier at schools everyone expects me to drink, so it is very hard. I hope you can understand what I am trying to say. Plus, my mom didn’t know that I did this until last month. I don’t like having to go out and drink , but it is just something I cannot help or stop.
Please try to understand, I am not a loser or a drunk.

– Mark

Right now, we are in the midst of our 100 Safest Days of Summer for Teen Drivers, when more teen motor vehicle fatalities happen than any other time of the year. As parents and guardians, we must understand that our teens need more than just lectures—they need genuine support. If you suspect your teen is drinking or using drugs, please don’t let them drive or have access to the car. Remember, a vehicle can be a dangerous weapon. Focus on getting them the help they need instead.

Because we care…

Candace Lighter, Founder
We Save Lives
Mothers Against Drunk Driving
Author, “Giving Sorrow Words: How to Cope with Grief and Get On with Your Life”